Wednesday, August 21, 2013
University life. Who the hell said it was going to be easy???
Well hello again! I'm back!
Right now i'm in the middle of the second week of university and can i just say it is sooo intense. Like some lectures are less than 2h but when you get out of it you just feel so shagged. There's no other way to say it. It's like you've been sitting through a hurricane and it had finally blown over.
Then every module you take has readings to read. Here's the funny thing: some modules you have so much reading to do, yet once you've done them you don't really see the link between what you have read and the lectures itself. Then we have the classes which have no prep work at all. So you basically go in blind and you come out both blind and lost. Always a good way to feel at the start of the week :)
I vividly remember my teacher saying that university is much better than JC. She said JC would be the worst thing you would have to go through. I disagree. Everyday in university makes you feel like your test is in a couple of hours as you scramble to get to places, settle down, squeeze in lunch and run back for more lessons. I guess you could forget friends in university too. It's like the triangle balance actually exists. You know - work, social life, sleep. And you can only pick 2? Right now i'm trying to work on social life and work but damn it's freaking tiring.
That's it. I'm going to be a sad loner who doesn't have eye bags - effective from today. But i know this may sound funny but i actually find it really peaceful walking through the halls on my own. Don't get me wrong, bumping and sitting with friends esp for lunch is always a huge relief but there's just something about holding your own bag and walking to class and just plopping down on a seat for close to 2 hours that makes me feel really....
Grown-up. I remember i used to be so scared of buying my own food or just walking alone mainly because i was really insecure i guess. But now i feel nothing. I don't know if it's because I'm finally more comfortable in my own skin or if i don't give a fuck anymore but i must say that it really feels good. That's not to say i'm extremely confident of myself it's just a insulated bubble i have when i walk to class that makes me feel at peace with the world.
There's also always this feeling that you're lagging behind because everyone seems so prepared so knowledgable so fast - well screw it. I've spent the last 10 years of my life competing with others but this time, uni is way too vast and too much to handle. I've decided to only compete against one person - myself. There's no need for me to be the fastest at reading my notes but whatever i do, i'll be pushing myself against the part of me that feels like giving up. Thousands of others had done and completed this and i'll be able to as well. So NUS may seem to be drowning me right now in work but i'm going to get the hang of it.
That being said, I wish all freshman out there the best of luck in finding your sea legs and to let you know that you're not the only one struggling. I may not know you but i guess we have this one thing that binds us - so let's do this together and see how far we can go with it. Good luck!
Mona ♥
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
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