Monday, March 11, 2013
Post "A"s Stress
Hello World.
So another couple of days has passed and i'm really starting to wonder where my life is going. As far as i'm concerned i don't want to be the one who wakes up one day in their 40s to realise that they hated or wasted their whole life away.
How does someone know what to do with their life anyway?
I like to believe the notion that God made everyone with different talents so that we all sort of fit into our own little place into the world. That would ensure that everyone is the happiest they can be, right?
But what if i don't have a talent? Don't get me wrong, i don't suck at everything but it's just that i don't seem to be good at anything. I see friends around me who excel in music, dance, drama, sciences, humanities........the list goes on forever, okay? My point is they have found their talent and they are doing exceptionally well at it. I'm (honestly) happy for them. I can see them doing what they love and excelling in their respective fields in like 5 or 10 years from now. It's funny in that sense - I can see where all my friends are probably going to end up; yet i draw a blank as to where i will be.
Some lady with 40 cats. Or maybe 40 dogs. Those cats would judge me with their eyes.
So yes, after going one whole big loop, let me get back to my main point: HOW ON EARTH DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MEANT TO DO???
Lots of people always tell me to pray about it. Yes i have done that. Perhaps God is taking time to answer me. University applications on the other hand, have no time to wait for me.
I knew what i wanted to do initially, but after thinking it over these last few days i'm starting to realise i may not be as suited for the course as i thought i was. Shy, quiet me could never make it in the advertising industry. In fact, i don't really seem to be able to make it anywhere at all. (Grades, glorious grades)
Of course, some people who are unsure of what they intend to do may take a gap year just to reconsider all their options. I don't really see my situation getting better in another 12 months. So i think i'll stick with choosing now. Question lies in what to choose---OH MY WHAT TO TAKE?
So i did what any normal person would do with a question --- i googled it.
PASSION. That seemed to be the recurring word or theme that people use when choosing a university or their courses. Like really guys? How does passion really help in such a case? I've heard a saying that everyone has passion but those who make it are the ones who are passionate. That makes sense.
When i was young, one of my biggest dreams was to fly to space, mainly because i was fascinated by the night sky and the thought that i could one day see the whole galaxy. Yeah, a little naive then. Then as i grew up my biggest wish was to be remembered for something when i died. I often thought curing cancer would be a pretty easy way to do that. The part of me figuring out how to cure cancer cells? Yeah didn't really think that through. So i was a little upset and i started flipping through my book of random things and i found a quote i had penned down quite a few years ago.
It read "If i had not gone into Monty Python, i probably would have stuck to my original plan to graduate and become a chartered accountant, perhaps a barrister lawyer, and gotten a nice house in the suburbs, with a nice wife and kids, and gotten a country club membership , and then i would have killed myself." <John Cleese>
I guess it was at this point that i woke up and knew what i had to do. What i love vs What is practical. Often i've always thought that as the only child i must do what is needed to ensure my parents live well in the future (along with my 40 dogs you see). I cannot afford to do something i love if there's the slightest risk that by the time i enter the working world, i'm still not able to support myself and/or my parents. Getting a rich husband or even dating is out of the question as i need to work hard for the next 20-30 years to at least ensure my parents would be comfortable before i think for myself. Wow, this is thinking way far ahead but this should roughly be the outline for my life for the next few decades or so.
So i guess the best thing to do would be to find a way to combine my responsibilities and my passion into a course of my choice. Jeez sounds like a huge burden for a course to handle. Laughs.
All in all, I hope that if anyone ever comes by this post that you'll do what you truly love in life. It's always easier to do well in something you love and the work that follows will always be enjoyable and maybe even pleasant. I, on the other hand, have to weigh about 250 more factors before i come to a decision... ... ... a gap year may seem pretty handy now actually.
Mona ♥
Monday, March 11, 2013
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