Thursday, April 28, 2016
Why are you so calm?
So something interesting happened to me today. Well, first of all, I'm in the midst of my third-year final exams with little or no hope of improving my grade point average. But that's beside the point. My dad texted me today after I sat through another final and asked me if I was okay.
You can imagine how I might have started to panic when he asked me this question. Usually, when someone asks me how I am feeling it's usually to brace me to receive incoming bad news and to make sure that I am in a proper state of mind to accept the aforementioned bad news. This was the same thing that happened with my beloved dog (bless his tiny heart) when my mum called to tell me about it the other time. It was a dear, how are you? where are you? And just in that instant I knew. Same for my grandma when my dad called me as I finished with work that day and asked me how was my day. I still remember it was a relatively good day then and he told me to take my time when making my way to the hospital. Well, he didn't have to say it but even I knew my grandma was gone in that instant. It still hurts to think about losing both of them but I feel that no matter what losing a grandfather at 9 still never prepared me for losing my grandma and grandpa at 19 and much less losing my buddy at 20.
Pain is relative though and through time, the pain has subsided a little but the memories still stay. In some way, the memories hurt more than thinking about the loss of them.
So I braced myself for the news that was coming. Was great-grandma hospitalised? Did something happen to our house? The company? Did I get another rejection letter? Was mum alright? Was he alright? WHAT???
And at that point, he just said no, I was just checking if you are alright. You seem very calm this semester. Huh. I'll let you know my thoughts in a bit.
Mona ♥
Thursday, April 28, 2016
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