Wednesday, April 6, 2016
You're always stronger than you think
I don't like the phrase "a cry for help." I just don't like how it sounds. When somebody says to be "I'm thinking about suicide, I have a plan; I just need a reason not to do it," the last thing I see is helplessness.
I think to myself: your depression has been beating you up for years. It's called you ugly, and stupid and pathetic and a failure, for such a long time that you've forgotten it's wrong. You don't see any good in yourself, and you don't have any hope.
But still, here you are; you've come over to me, banged on my door and said HEY! STAYING ALIVE IS REALLY HARD RIGHT NOW! JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING TO FIGHT WITH! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S A STICK! GIVE ME A STICK AND I CAN STAY ALIVE!"
How is that helpless? I think it's incredible. You're like a Marine: trapped for years behind enemy lines, your gun has been taken away, you're out of ammo, you're malnourished, and you've peobably caught some kind of jungle virus that's making you hallucinate giant spiders.
And you know what? You're still just going "GIVE ME A STICK. I'M NOT DYING OUT HERE."
"A cry for help" makes it sound like I'm supposed to take pity on you, but you don't need my pity. This isn't pathetic. This is the will to survive. This is how humans lived long enough to become the dominant species.
With no hope, running on nothing, you're ready to cut through a hundred miles of hostile jungle with nothing but a stick, if that's what it takes to get to safety.
All I'm doing is handing out sticks.
You're the one staying alive.
I really hope the above helps someone who comes across it. It was written by a therapist and it really makes you realize you have been strong enough to fight through anything and everything. I may never actually meet all of you out there but I pray that whatever fight you are going through that you will pull through and I'll be right here fighting along with you. Writing gives me a sense of purpose and allows me to consolidate my thoughts. But really, it's pieces like this that really keep you grounded and from getting inside your head too much.
Sending my love to all and here's wishing you strength for the week ahead.
Mona ♥
Wednesday, April 06, 2016
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