I've tried to move on and I think I'm almost there. Then the message came in. You had passed my number to your friend and seemed to sell him the idea that I was desperate or needy enough to want any form of physical contact.

Anger, hate and heat is what I felt. Was I truly that pathetic to you in what I thought was a real relationship? Do you think once you are done with me you can just toss me on side and not only that, serve me on a plate to your friend? 

I am not a chew toy, boy. Let's get that clear. 

You can play and muck around and blame me or yourself for as long as you want. I even went back on my promise to myself and became that sad girl I was at the age of 19. I begged you to let me try again and let me back into your life. I promised I would make things better and that it would work this time. I wouldn't take so much of your time, I would be more understanding, I would even dress the way you prefer. 

I had to reach that stage again for 23 year old me to realize I was back to 19 year old me. You have no idea how long it took for me to claw my way back to find my dignity.  Years and months and still it strikes me at times. To think I was willing to put myself through all that for you again. 

This is not on you. But I refuse to go back to that sorry state. I am not going to pull myself out of the hole for the next 4 years. You know how much I let you in and you did the exact same thing you knew would hurt me the most. It hurts knowing you never bothered to treat me the way I treated you. 

But that's fine. You do you, man. I'm truly done with you. May you find someone who loves you for who you truly are. And I hope, for your sake, that you learn to love yourself too. 

I'm glad you managed to find someone else to move on from this "mistake" of what we were. Always make it better and upgrade after all right? 

Till then, I'll be avoiding all the songs and places that I have linked with you. That was my mistake to associate my favourite places with who I thought would be my favourite person. Here's hoping karma never bites you back, because you will have a shit ton coming. This "lonely random girl" is officially sick of your lies and blame game.